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    June 13

    迷失

    做了十几年的网虫,但自己竟然是第一次写blog,真的很难想象。
          原因简单的出奇,自己在半小时前带着西斯地理的郁闷心情看了现某位友人的blog后突然产生了写作的冲动。现在是23点45分明天早上就要参加考试,而我却一点复习的心情也没有,在工作生活中一直努力充当好小孩的我对此也感到相当的意外。可能是最近心里实在是感到太郁闷太寂寞了吧。。。。。。还是说当一个宅宅脱离了二次元的美好世界后再来面对残酷真实的社会时感到的无知与无助吧。
          每天忙绿的自己究竟在为了什么?为自己?为别人?还是在努力用自己空虚的躯壳撑起虚荣的外表?生活究竟是什么?起床-骑车上班-工作-加班-骑车回家-继续加班-在电脑前睡着,日复一日重复着同样的动作,现在的生活似乎除了这些就什么都没有了。内心的寂寞与无助时刻在侵蚀着自己,幻想着拯救自己的人能尽快出现。
          从来没想过当生活失去了目标时,竟然会是这样的痛苦,每天深夜下班骑车回家的路上都在不断胡思乱想着,未来究竟在哪里。。。。。。也许这就是大人所谓的成长吧,也许我真的长大了。。。但其实我还不想的。。。

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